coming upon the end.

As we reach this time of year I find myself coming upon the common feeling that has become a natural sense of my personality roughly twice a year- the end of semester panic (appositive phrase offset by a dash?). It has become apparent, as it does at the end of every semester, that the pieces of my life that have been left out in the open need to start finding their place, and the time that I have to make that happen is running out. You would think, this being my fourth year attending this university, that I would have somewhat adapted some qualities or skills like time management and a better sense of organization and planning- you would be wrong (using a dash as an emphasis).  I am still as scattered and absented minded as ever, and it always tends to hit me during this time of year just how much I wish that wasn’t true. I wish that somewhere along the way that I had picked up on those qualities possibly helping me make my life a little easier rather than letting my disorganized chaos run the show(use of than and a participle phrase).   I wish that instead of feeling the need to keep myself awake doing paper after paper and sleeping my day away that I felt the desire to actually get up before the afternoon rolled around and do something productive.  I wish that every meaningless task around my apartment, a pile of things that I would have no desire to do otherwise, didn’t seem to become a priority when I know there are other things I need to be doing (appositive phrase offset by commas).  I wish that my desire to stay on top of thing out weighed my perpetual nature of putting everything off till the last possible minute, but I haven’t been so lucky. The constant panic, avoidable and nagging, has already settled in with no intention of leaving until my tires hit the pavement leaving this semester behind (adjectives out of order). You think if I knew it was coming I would try to avoid it, but you’d be wrong again. I’ve come to the conclusion that my mind (a chamber of non-understandable secrets) has come up with its own coping mechanism to deal with the aftermath of its exhausted destruction (appositive phrase offset by parenthesis). It’s not until the next semester is coming to a close that I seem to remember that sleep deprivation and last minute cramming and planning isn’t a good idea. Then, as the memories from previous semesters begin flooding back, the panic returns and I find myself right back where I was just five months before (use of then). Is it normal to keep putting yourself through a draining perpetual cycle? Is it healthy to repeatedly create your own chaotic mess?( rhetorical question) Maybe that’s the lesson. Not to try to try to break a habit that has become engrained in my personality, but to instead learn how to embrace and manage my chaos. Maybe that is secret to preserving my sanity: an embracing of my chaos not the destruction of it (appositive phrase offset by a colon?).